Yesterday I was talking to my blogger friend and we were discussing some of our post. She’d mentioned how she hasn’t wrote a heartfelt post in a while. I immediately realized that I haven’t wrote one either. I’ve been so busy and fully stuck in autopilot mode.
The reasoning behind my autopilot mode is that I’m tired. I’m not sleep deprived; however, my mind and body are both exhausted. I’ve been so busy working on my business, every second that I find time to myself. Which isn’t very often. I’ve been focused on my Book and blogging at the same time. I usually only work on my book on the weekends, but I was so driven to get it completed. Now that’s its finally finished, I’m trying to promote it. I’m also taking care of my two sweet, little boys, trying to potty train my toddler, playing with the kids, housework, mowing 2 yards, cleaning several houses, cooking meals, running errands, all while trying to remembering to take a shower during the day. Whew, that all sounds exhausting after I see it written down.
I’m just tired. However, my motherhood drive is in full swing. I want my family to be happy so that is what keeps me going. My husband works all day long. So, the last thing I want him to do when he gets home is have to mow the yards. Trust me, he does try. He deserves a hot, homecooked meal when he gets home. In which, I always try to have served on the table. Not because he expects it, because I feel he deserves it. He works hard, so I try to pick up more duties so he doesn’t have to.
I’ve tried to balance my life and work but there’s just so much that needs done all the time. There’s not enough hours in the day. I do try to practice self-care by taking twenty minutes a day to myself or staying up late just so I can get a moment of silence to myself. I don’t want to come across that I’m complaining because I’m really not. I can handle this, I’ve done it for years. However, I’m sick of living in autopilot mode. My body and mind just go and go because it knows what has to be done. I feel like I am never fully rested. Whether I’m tired or sleeping, they’re still going.
I’m trying to take more time to live a little and smile more. I’ve realized, when I’m talking to someone that my mind is usually elsewhere. This is never good nor respectful. In order to get out of this mode, I really need to cut some tasks out of my daily schedule. I know I wouldn’t want to hang around someone that acts like a programmed robot and that’s exactly what I’m doing. So, I don’t expect my family too either.
As mothers, we just want the best for the ones we love. All while neglecting our needs in order to achieve it. I know I can’t be the only one out there who is stuck in auto pilot mode. So, if you’re reading this and thinking, “Wow this is so me.” Let’s change it! Let’s not be programmed on auto pilot, let’s live a little. Who cares if the house gets a little messy? I know I know, ha-ha I do! However, I’m working on this. It’s ok if our loved ones help out more because mom seriously can’t do it all, all the time. Trust me I’ve tried and it’s not working out. Instead of getting the dishes done right away, sit down and relax. Let’s make washing dishes a family event later. No matter what it is that we decide to change, it shouldn’t be put off anymore. Enjoy this life before it’s too late.